I should really never click on anything library-related in a non-librarian publication, because it’s always written by someone who’s maybe only seen stock photos of libraries and not actually even been in a library since they were nine. CNBC called the job of a librarian as one of the least stressful for 2013, saying:
“You’re working in a comfortable environment. Your job is to help people use services as best as possible. Given that environment, stress levels are low,” Lee said. “What’s the most stressful thing a librarian faces? Teenagers with a paper due and you don’t have the books. It’s not really your stress,” Lee said.
Plus, there are mandatory “quiet” rules in libraries and you’re surrounded by books.
Books don’t talk back or criticize the job you’re doing!
You know, I was gonna bash back all angry-like, and talk about how my jobs isn’t about books, you stupid-head, it’s about people and public service. Then I was going to get all, “Yeah, teen. You can’t find a book for your stupid report? NOT MY PROBLEM! Bring me another Mai Tai!” But you know, I’ve thought about it. If anything, CNBC’s mindless list, complete with banal and stereotype-based blurbs, is nothing if not thought-provoking. I’ve realized my job as a children’s/YA librarian in an large urban setting is kinda like being in a spa. Thank you, CNBC!
OK, I’ve never actually been to a spa (just like the person who wrote this has never been to a library), but really. My day to day stuff at work is pretty relaxing. So please, if you find that any of the following lowers your stress level, you should absolutely become a librarian (provided you can find any actual job openings out there!).
- The soothing sound of screaming toddlers, wailing infants, and teenagers mellowly yelling out the N-word. Why, what’s that moaning in the background? It’s a drunk man who’s passed out in the doorway! Call 911!
- People threatening to lay you off every six months. Hurrah! Nothing’s been better for my complexion, peace of mind, mental health, sleeping and eating habits, and personal relationships than a lack of library funding and the occasional pink slip. Budget? SCHMUDGET! Yeah, so what if we’re understaffed because we have 200+ vacancies we can’t afford to fill? So what if hundreds of my coworkers and I don’t have job stability? So what if I’m spending all my free time advocating to keep libraries open instead of having a life of my own? One day, you’re living stress-free in your library, next you’re dipping your feet in the cool, calming waters of unemployment!
- Children’s programming! When I want to relax, I simply gather a group of 30 or so 18 month olds and try to keep their attention for half an hour. When I really want to turn up those zen vibes, I hang out with a class of 40 9th graders and teach them how to do research! Bliss.
- Nothing makes me sigh like a smug, contented little jerk than sexual harassment at the reference desk. Thanks for considering me part of your dating pool, good sir. Your unwanted advances make the stress just melt away.
- Summer Reading. I mean, even the words themselves are relaxing. Summer. Reading. Summer. Reading. We like both these words separately, right? Well put them together and you’ve created an intoxicating combination of demanding patrons, endless lines, being on your feet non-stop, visits from massive summer camps, and tackling baffling teacher lists. Those tears you’re crying yourself to sleep in? They’re great for detoxifying pores.
Blah, blah, blah. It should be said that I actually do love my job and given the choice, there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing (other than working in a panda playground). Also, having family members who have served in the Army and who currently work in hospitals, I think I know what a real stressful job looks like (and mine doesn’t even come close in comparison). So I’m just being a bit of an ass to point out that librarians are a bunch of hard-working peeps, and I wouldn’t recommend becoming a librarian if you think it involves talking to books and ignoring teen patrons all day.
I would, however, like to see this “quiet” library that CNBC speaks of.
~Love and Libraries, Ingrid
P.S. My condolences to hair-dressers and college professors, who also made this list. Dude, that shit doesn’t look easy either.